I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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