I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
worst night to have a conscience
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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