I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
