then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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