I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
