i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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