The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Randomize
