She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
