I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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