why didn't you poke me back
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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