I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
