anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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