The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
