Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
