She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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