I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
