Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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