did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
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at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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