You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
