Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
