No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
