so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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