i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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