Whod you bang
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
