Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
