38 yer olds are good kisserssss
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
