i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize