ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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