I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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