is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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