and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
