My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
worst night to have a conscience
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
