Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
