if you like me you must not know who I am
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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