Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
