Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
