I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
a search helicopter?!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
