I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
