Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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