the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
