Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
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I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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