I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
