Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
