Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
this will be a night to untag.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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