She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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