Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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