I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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