This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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