i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
