You're my little dorito
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
