yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
