the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
