weddingsv make me drug and hornr
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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