Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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