I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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