Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
