Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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