absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
