fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
