it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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