I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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