And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
