I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
