To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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