All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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