you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.