It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
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Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother